I’ve made a living for 20-plus years from asking questions. But not all questions are created equal. Some questions ruin relationships and destroy trust.

Those are the questions we ask in anger, judgement or blame.

  • Why is this project off the rails?
  • How often do I have to tell you?
  • Who is responsible for this?

Or the ones intended to manipulate, or humiliate.

  • Don’t you agree with me?
  • Don’t you want that promotion?
  • Don’t you want to save our planet?

Sometimes, good questions become bad when they are asked in the wrong way. Too rapidly. Too aggressively.

When we ask questions – as authors and as people – setting the right intention is what makes the difference. The intention of questions is to build trust and relationship as well as to find out information. Curiosity is one driver, but care is another.

How is your curiosity and your care revealed in your book (and everything you write)?